Day 44: Getting Tired of the Judgements

As many of you have seen on my Facebook status, today will not be like the typical posts I have been sharing with you guys lately. This post will actually have some substance. Lately, I have been feeling very strongly about certain people and their judgemental feelings. So, I feel like I need to sit here and write to get all of that off my mind. Here goes:

The Base Pages
Recently, around the base, I have seen such an influx of people with opinions about other people’s lives. How do I see this? Well, because there are these amazing (please know that is my sarcasm there) pages on Facebook that everyone on base is a part of (I have actually been debating on removing myself from said pages because they are just becoming ridiculous). I am referring to, for those of you who live here and know what I am talking about, the Rants & Raves page, but also the Q&A page. When I first moved here, the Q&A page was NOT like it is now. It really was a helpful page, but now it has just turned into a page where people mock and make fun of each other. People really like to throw their opinions of others around on these pages and it really aggravates the hell out of me sometimes. Today, someone stated that people are living above their means because a person complained about the COLA lowering. For those of you who aren’t military affiliated, COLA is cost of living allowance. We have it here to offset the difference in the euro to dollar. It really helps us out because the exchange rate is shit right now. I pull out 450 euro 3 times just to get my rent. Right now 450 euro is $550. That’s a $100 difference. That is A LOT! Anyway, a lot of people here go from having a two-income household (like Mike and me) to a one-income household. Do you know how difficult that is? Thankfully it is not that difficult for me and Mike because we don’t have any big bills to pay off. We are essentially debt free, but for families who have school loans to pay off, kids college tuitions to pay, car payments, insurance, etc… losing an entire income is life changing! How dare someone to assume just because someone is struggling here, there are living above their means! It just blows my mind that people can be so ignorant sometimes.

The Snooty Bitches
There are some wives here who think the sun rises and sets on their ass. Like their life is so perfect that they can say whatever they want to people, judge them without even knowing them for more than a simple conversation in passing, and not get any backlash from it. These people, I like to call them the snooty ass bitches (harsh language I know but well deserved), are the ones who have no worries in the world except when their next shopping spree is going to be. These wives, oh they are the worst in my opinion. They sit here, although they may work, and judge the most. “So and so is doing such and such, can you believe that? I would never.” But would you ever? Do you really know what so and so is going through? Were you there last month when so and so’s mother fell sick and she couldn’t afford to get back to the states because her husband isn’t high ranking and makes boo-coo money? Oh, or were you aware that she battles with depression and every day she gets through without crying is a win? How about instead of you judging her from what you see in 5 minutes of passing her in the commissary, you go and have a conversation with her? Sorry, I forget that means you have to be a somewhat decent human being to do so.

“Dependa”
This base works on a 70/30 scale. That means 70% of the jobs must go to the Spanish nationals, which is totally understandable seeing as though we are guests on their base, and we should be thankful for that. Sometimes I don’t think people understand just how many wives there are here that are competing for the same 30% of jobs. There are women here who have their master’s working at the damn Navy Exchange. So many women that are overqualified for the jobs they are working. When you sit here and speak recklessly to the ones who do not have jobs, “Don’t you want to work?” Uhh, of course, I want to work, but there is nothing I can do if I don’t get picked for the job. How many applications do you want me to fill out? And, if someone doesn’t want to work (I don’t want to work because I focus all of my time on getting my degree before we go back home) who are you to judge them about that? Do you know what kind of agreement the spouses have between each other? I am sure you do not because you are not a part of their marriage. I know my husband and I have an agreement that I do not have to work while we are here because I am going to school full time. Mike is totally ok with that and very supportive of it. Have I been called a dependa here because I don’t work? I sure have. Did it piss me off? It sure did. Why? Because what makes me a dependa? The fact that my husband supports me financially? Well, if one day my husband loses his job and I have to support him financially, would that make him a dependa as well? Probably not because he is a man.

Moral of the Story
If you aren’t a saint, if you don’t live perfectly and make no mistakes what so ever… Who are you to judge anyone else’s life? Who are you to talk shit about someone because they are doing something you would not do? I admit I do get judgy at times, and it is something I work on daily, but I just cannot deal with the amount of shit I am seeing lately. With so much hate going on in the world, I just feel like I had to write this. Maybe my writing this will make some others realize they are being extremely harsh on others, and make them reevaluate the way they think. NOBODY IS PERFECT. NOBODY DESERVES TO BE TALKED DOWN TO. But most importantly, NOBODY DESERVES TO BE JUDGED. If you find yourself talking about someone else’s life, without knowing exactly what is going on with that person, you need to take a step back and evaluate yourself, and why you feel the need to comment on something that has nothing to do with you. If you are so unhappy with yourself that you feel the need to comment on something that has nothing to do with your own life, I will be praying that you find the comfort you need to become a better person.

 

That is all I have for this post. Yes, I know it got long and it got a little crazy rant-like, but like previously stated… I needed to get this off of my mind and onto some kind of platform. That’s it for today guys! Hasta luego my friends! Until tomorrow!

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